Why I Run

I used to hate running – especially outside. Looking back, I have no idea why. I. was. wrong. It doesn’t get much better than getting lost in a neighborhood and running until you weave your way out. Oh the attitude adjustments the Lord can give me while I run!

Saturday I was a little down in the dumps, so I laced up my shoes and took off. As I ran, the Lord seemed to increase my awareness that I was not truly trusting Him and His plan for my life. (I feel like this is a lesson I never quite learn.) While running, I heard a song playing in the distance. As I tried to figure out which house it was, I finally realized it was my phone in my hand. Apparently, using my oh-so-tech-savvy iphone skills, I opened Pandora and my phone was playing music. The song was Meredith Andrews’s “Treasure,” and the lyrics rang loud and clear: “My treasure is you, there is no other; My treasure is you, more then gold; Heaven and Earth they have lost their luster; You alone are the treasure that I hold."

Well that truth was enough to sit me down right there. (Thankfully, I was running a trail at this point, so I didn’t have to sit on the sidewalk in someone’s front yard!) Sitting there I realized that it had been exactly one year since I stepped off a plane at RDU to visit Raleigh, NC for the first time, knowing I’d be moving there a few months later. On that day, I remember being overcome with an emotional love for the Lord. And here, one year later, I have a much deeper mental love for the Lord. Yet, I’ve lost some of the feelings. I realize that my relationship with God isn’t based on feelings, but I long to love Him in such a deeply emotional way again. And I think I need to start by reminding myself of how worthy of trust and affection He is.

So as I sat there in the dirt and looked out over an empty, grassy area, I saw two red birds chasing one another. It took me back to my last dentist visit when I had to have a cavity filled. (Yes, I just admitted that to the world.) I was honestly scared (I’m a baby), and I prayed for courage and trust as I sat in the dentist chair. I looked out the big picture window in front of me and saw red birds chasing each other outside in the woods. God reminded me that He takes care of the sparrows. And I am worth more than many sparrows! (Matthew 10:31)

Last Saturday, once again I needed to be reminded that if God cares for the birds of the air, who do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and the lilies of the field who do not labor or spin, how much more does He care for me!? (Matthew 6:25-34) God is so faithful to tell me the same things over and over and over...

I run for many reasons. It’s good for my health, it’s a great opportunity to spend time with my dad, it increases endorphins, etc. But I think what I seem to find most valuable is the alone time I spend with God, not trying to “do” anything, but just listening. So if you asked me why I run, I might just tell you it’s because I like it. But in my heart I know I need it - because I desperately need Jesus, who runs alongside me, loving me every step of the way. He is worthy of our trust.

Running the race,
Jaye

Sorry for the “stream of consciousness.” Hopefully you were able to follow.

New Territory

I named this blog “The Land That I Will Show You” based on Gen. 12:1-3, which the Lord used to lead me to Raleigh. Now that I stop to reflect on the last few months, God has worked in my life in a similar pattern to Abraham’s once again – He shows me the new land little by little as I go.

Oh boy, how my life has changed since my last blog! When I last wrote, I was a part-time teacher and a full-time student at SEBTS. Long story short(er), I am now I full-time AND a part-time teacher, plus a part-time student. Here’s what happened. A third grade teacher decided not to return from maternity leave, and I was asked to take over her class (in addition to the after school music stuff I was already doing.) Well that seemed like an impossible task and not at all in line with what I came here to do (because it would mean dropping some seminary classes.) However, through guidance through scripture and godly counsel, God led me to accept.

Colossians 3 was the scripture God used primarily. Through Paul’s words, I felt God telling me that I was to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. (v. 12) That I was going to learn to put on love. (v. 14) That I was to let the word of Christ dwell in me richly (v.15) and work heartily, serving the Lord Christ (v. 23). I asked God a lot of questions, and put forth a lot of “what ifs” and “what abouts.” For example, “Is it possible to teach 3^rd grade and chorus without losing my mind and/or my witness?!?” Verse 16 summed up my situation pretty well. (Disclaimer: Please forgive my hermeneutics. I am in that class right now, and I realize that Paul was speaking to the Colossians. I am not the original audience, so I would never preach that this is what this passage is saying. However, I’m just explaining the application of these scriptures in my life that God showed me.) “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” I felt like God told me to teach and sing, all the while being thankful that He had answered my prayers.

I had just recently begun to pray for more opportunities to be a witness in my workplace. I missed working full-time and having full-time relationships with colleagues and students. Since I had been praying for that, I could see this job offer as a potential answer to that prayer. It’s also neat to think about how God uses the seemingly insignificant things at the time they occur to accomplish His purpose later. For instance, last spring I had to proctor during SAT testing. I was frustrated that I had to do that rather than teach my usual music classes. I was placed in a 3^rd grade room, and at the end of the two weeks, the experience really confirmed my love for 3^rd graders. I was a little jealous of the relationship that classroom teacher had with her students because, as a music teacher, I would never have such deep relationships with students I only saw once a week. What a blessing to have a friend remind me of those things as I prayed about this decision!

So…after reading Colossians 3:1-17, I remember telling God, “Ok, I guess this is what you’re leading me to do…but are you serious?!?! I can’t do that… it doesn’t make sense with why I came to seminary… I’ll be worthless because I’ll be so tired… I’ll never get to hang out with friends… (excuse upon excuse.)” So then I read v. 18, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” As a single woman, the only husband I submit myself to is the Lord (Isaiah 54:5). So after one more final Word of instruction, I told God, “Yes.” And with the blessings He has poured out, I will continue saying “yes” to Him. He is ever faithful, always knowing what is best. Father, help me to obey. Your plan is SO worth it.

Just reflecting on that this morning, and I wanted to share.

“Living the dream,”
Jaye